Who I Am

Nothing changes who I am in Christ. I forget that quite often. I tend to define who I am based on the people around me. If people respond positively, then I am secure. If not, I am not okay. This has caused me to be in numerous bad relationships and friendships. Anyone else?! 

Lately, I've been reading about setting boundaries and having the right mindset when interacting with people. I cannot let other people determine who I am. That's Christ's job. He died for me, so that I could have a relationship with him and define myself by His love instead of the standards of this world. I mean, just that alone is enough. But everyday in one way or another, He reminds me of this love through His Word, music, nature, etc.

When I start to look to other people for affirmation, I need to remember that He loves me no matter what I do or who does/doesn't like me. If I go out and search for that affirmation from other people, I will be disappointed and those people will be stressed. It's too much for them. Only Jesus can give us the security we as humans need.

Thank you for letting me share this with you! When I scroll back and look at this, I pray that I can look back and see how God has changed me in this area.

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well." 

Psalm 139:14

Source for Psalm 139:14

Source for "You are loved..."

Four Skinny Trees

"They are the only ones who understand me. I am the only one who understands them. Four skinny trees with skinny necks and pointy elbows like mine. Four who do not belong here but are here. Four raggedy excuses planted by the city. From our room we can hear them, but Nenny just sleeps and doesn’t appreciate these things.

Their strength is their secret. They send ferocious roots beneath the ground. They grow up and they grow down and grab the earth between their hairy toes and bite the sky with violent teeth and never quit their anger. This is how they keep.

Let one forget his reason for being, they’d all droop like tulips in a glass, each with their arms around the other. Keep, keep, keep, trees say when I sleep. They teach.

When I am too sad and too skinny to keep keeping, when I am a tiny thing against so many bricks, then it is I look at trees. When there is nothing left to look at on this street. Four who grew despite concrete. Four who reach and do not forget to reach. Four whose only reason is to be and be."

The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was reading this poem with my class last year and just about starting crying in front of them. Goodness, I'm getting emotional as I type now. I was so moved by the author's description of the strength of the trees and how she gets her strength from them. How the author says when she is "too sad to keep keeping" that's when she draws her strength from the trees who have grown despite tough circumstances. 

It was so wonderful to see some of my students moved emotionally as well. I asked them how they could apply this poem and got some really great answers. We discussed how we can overcome our circumstances and how we can make it, even if things seem tough. As a teacher, it was a touching moment. To see my students realize that they can overcome the obstacles in front of them, big or small. 

This also reminds me so much of Jesus. How He went through every temptation possible- through all that concrete- even death, and came out victorious! Because of that victory, I can rely on Jesus' strength. When times get tough, and we don't think we can "keep keeping"; when we feel like we are just one small human against this awful world, we have a glorious savior to rely on. He can be our trees. 

"Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired and weary,

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength. 

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not get weary,

they will walk and not be faint."

Isaiah 40: 28-31

photo source

I don't like change. At all.

I really don't. Since May, I've had one of my best friends move away & multiple people that I love at work either move positions within the school or transfer schools. I am also starting grad school. Did I mention I don't like change?

It throws me for a loop.

Recently, there was a major change at my job- one that came last minute & I knew might happen, but when it did, oh my, I was so surprised!! I am so thankful for Hao who let me have my moment then helped me process the situation.

We came to conclude that this is an opportunity for growth in my life. I tend to try to control things at work to make them go smoothly. This can be a good thing, and this can be a bad thing. I tend to overcompensate to make sure things go the way I think they should go instead of stepping back and  letting things go they way the need to. It's good to want things to go smoothly (especially when you teach hormone-ladden middle schoolers), but if I try to control everything, I am going to be super stressed and the people around me feel like I am controlling, bossy, & judgmental. Guilty.

If you haven't guessed by now, I really dislike the unknown. And this change really caused a lot of unknowns. But this is giving me so many new opportunities. A fresh start. I can either take this opportunity and be upset about it, which does no good, or choose to view it as an opportunity for growth & grace, which will bring God glory.

And that's out ultimate goal. Bringing God glory. I am praying that in this situation instead of gossiping or judging, I will rely on God's power to to respond in a positive light & bring Him glory!!

Source

Source

Mess is mine

As most of you know, I do a lot of thinking and praying in my car. As I was driving a while back I hear "Mess is Mine" by Vance Joy (See video below). It really struck a chord with me. 

It may sound crazy, but this song reminded me of Jesus. He takes our messes and makes them His. We don't have to deal with them anymore. He will fix them, if we just let him.

"You're the reason I feel so strong
The reason I'm hanging on
You know you gave me all the time
Oh, did I give you enough of mine?

Hold on, darling,
This body is yours,
This boy is yours and mine
Well hold on, my darling
This mess was yours,
Now your mess is mine"

I felt like he was giving me a sweet reminder of His love for us and how we can rely on him. I just love it when God speaks to us through random things! I pray this refreshes your spirit and reminds you of what a loving, giving savior we serve!

"I have come that they may life, and have it to the full." John 10:10
"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Barriers

Holding up barriers is hard & painful.

I imagine a person standing there trying to hold up a really heavy fence to protect himself but all they are really doing is hurting themselves. They're making their life so much harder by holding up that fence.

Because of Jesus and what he gives us (love, grace, mercy, acceptance, etc.), we don't have to do that. You don't have to be afraid of letting people in and getting hurt. We can trust that the Lord will protect us when we are doing His perfect will. 

I was riding in the car the other day & I heard the song "Suitcases" by Dara Maclean.

"How can you move when they're weighing you down?
What can you do when you're tied to the ground, yeah?
You carry your burdens heavy like gravity
Just let them go now, there's freedom in release

You can't run when you're holding suitcases
Yes, it's a new day, throw away your mistakes
And open up your heart, lay down your guard
You don't have to be afraid

Just breathe, your load can be lifted
There's a better way when you know you're forgiven
Open up your heart, lay down your guard
You don't have to be afraid"

Read more at http://www.songlyrics.com/dara-maclean/suitcases-lyrics/#1VlhrfBiviRWi5DM.99

This song reminds me that I don't have to be afraid. I can let those barriers down/drop those suitcases and live like the Lord has called me to. 

There are people in my life that have upset me. I don't have to be afraid of letting them in. I don't have to hold it that barrier because I know that the Lord will take care of me. He will give me what I need to be able to reach out to them. If I rely on Him as I go through the situation and listen to what He tells me, I will be fine.

On the other hand, if I choose to trust in myself and hold those barriers up and carry those suitcases, I will be exhausted. I will not be able to carry the load that the Lord has called me to and help the people that He has put into my life. I won't be able to do the good that He has called me to do. I won't be able to live out my faith.

Instead of holding onto those suitcases of hurt and anger and holding up those barriers to protect myself, I need to give them to Jesus. Let him carry them and take on his leading, which is easy and light (Matthew 11:28-30).

Not Just for Teachers: Negativity

As noted in my last post, some of my coworkers and I are reading the book Awakened: Change Your Mindset to Transform Your Teaching by Angela Watson. There's also an amazing devotional that goes along with it! They're both written for teachers, but it could apply to every profession! This chapter is about strategically thinking and how to think the thoughts that you WANT to think!

We have now moved into conquering tough habits. For the next 5 weeks, each post will have 2 different habits and ways to break them! 

Habit 1: Thinking negatively about yourself

"Every single one of us has an ongoing internal monologue or conversation playing in our minds. It's called self-talk and typically involves a running commentary on what's happening around us. Most of us identify with this self-talk and assume we're repeating the truth to ourselves. However, this commentary is totally biased and rarely accurate b/c out self talk is colored by our mindset. 

Self talk includes lots of automatic thoughts that we've reinforced over the years by paying attention to them and attaching importance.  The automatic thoughts pop up without us consciously thinking or even noticing them.

Your automatic self-talk is a fundamental part of how you think and feel. In part, that's b/c we grant more credence to our own thoughts than to those of other. We've trained ourselves to think critically about other people's ideas. But if that opinion comes from our own automatic thoughts, most of us tend not to question it. We become our own worst critics proclaiming a never-ending, scathingly bad review of life that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

If you repeat that type of self-talk (negative), it quickly becomes ingrained in your thinking patterns. Negative thoughts become a part of you, and you internalize the idea that you are, in fact, a loser who sucks at life. You actually believe your own hype and become convinced that the products of your distorted thinking are true and accurate. Self-doubting thoughts become a part of your belief system. Therefore, as you learn to address negative thought patterns in your mind, the best place to start is with the way you think about yourself.

Words like never, always, horrible, awful, worst, impossible, hate, unbearable, and unbelievable  are usually exaggerations that cause you to view a situation and yourself in a worse light than necessary. 

Choose words that aren't so dramatic and final, such as rarely, usually, challenging, difficult, tough, dislike, and surprising.  An internal monologue that says, "I hate dismissal duty- I can't believe I'm being forced into this terrible waste of time! I can't stand it out here for another second!" is more likely to create feelings of stress than, "I really dislike dismissal duty. It's hard for me to stand out here sometimes when I have so many other things to do." 

If you pay close attention to your word choice, you'll notice how influential it is on how you feel and what you think later on. Rephrasing your thoughts in a way that's more rational will keep your from getting so worked up and prevent your thoughts and emotions from spiraling out of control.

Another reason why using less extreme language is important is b/c it gives you a sense of control and empowers you to change the situation. If you think something is really awful, you'll probably waste a lot of time thinking about how awful it is rather than expending your energy on problem solving. Repeatedly thinking about how bad things are can cause you to become convinced that you can't stand the situation and it will never improve. Feeling that you have no control or hope for improvement leads to depression and other severe, desperate emotions. Choosing less extreme language gives you control: it reminds you that the situation is not unbearable and it won't last forever. 

Another technique is to turn negative statements in to a question and call to action. Instead of stating dysfunctional thoughts as facts (I always do this wrong- I can never get it right), try asking yourself questions that lead to improvement (What can I do to help myself improve in this area? Is there another approach I can try?) 

Practice not undermining yourself in front of others. This is especially important in a professional setting b/c broadcasting your flaws can damage credibility.

Speaking negatively about yourself causes others to see those flaws more clearly and predisposes people to view you in a negative light.

Your confidence can't be derived from your character or what you've done- that's a recipe for frustration, b/c you won't always behave and achieve the way you want." 

Habit 2: Explaining Setbacks in a Negative Way

"Pessimistic thought patters:

1. Over-generalizing: arriving at a conclusion based on too little evidence

2. Permanence: assuming (w/out evidence) that setbacks and problems will exist forever

3. Catastrophizing: magnifying negative aspects and mining positive ones to assume the worst

4. Polarized thinking: perceiving everything as either perfect or a failure with no I'm between

5. False helplessness: assuming (w/out evidence) that you are powerless over a situation

When you find yourself rending toward a pessimistic explanatory style, stop and examine examine more of the evidence. Is this situation really a total failure? Or is there some good in it? Is it possible that the situation may not be the way you perceive it and there is an alternative explanation? Don't rush to judgment if it's going to lead to defeatist, pessimistic thinking. Admit that you don't know for sure if a situation is permanent or hopeless and refrain from making a negative guess or prediction. Be sure to weed out any extreme and replace it with more accurate terms. 

If you find that your pessimistic explanation IS completely accurate, as yourself,  IS it useful or beneficial for me to perceive things this way? 

Does that thought help you teacher your classes with enthusiasm and energy? Does it stir up feelings of compassion toward (that student) so you're motivated to help her do better next quarter? Does it make you feel good about yourself and your work as a teacher? 

If it doesn't, then choose not to dwell on it! Let the thought enter your mind and pass right back out without attaching any importance to it or giving it any further thought. Dismiss it, distract yourself, and replace your thoughts with things that are beneficial. If the subject reoccurs in your mind, choose to reject it by telling yourself, That's not helpful and there's no good that can some from me ruminating on that idea. I choose not to think thoughts that don't contribute to my mental well-being. Moving on." 

In the devotional, Angela mentions this verse:

"I have told you these things, so that you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." -John 16:33

She's explaining that there's no need to be pessimistic because God has overcome the world! What a great reminder! This is definitely something I need to remember when I have all those pesky negative thoughts!   

If you'd like a printable version of this to post in your office, car, or home you can find one here.

Not Just for Teachers: Thinking Positively

As noted in my last post, some of my coworkers and I are reading the book Awakened: Change Your Mindset to Transform Your Teaching by Angela Watson. It's written for teachers, but it could apply to every profession! This chapter is about strategically thinking and how to think the thoughts that you WANT to think!

The 4 strategies are: dismiss, distract, reject, and replace.

1. Dismiss

"When you find yourself slipping into distorted thinking, you can simply acknowledge that it's happening without attaching any importance to the thought. When you notice a judgmental, critical, or unproductive thought, think to yourself, that thought is not a part of me. that thought has no importance. i'm letting that pass. You're not analyzing where it came from or why you feel like you do; you're dismissing the thought as irrelevant to your decision about the type of mindset you want. 

Thoughts sometime seems so pressing and all-consuming that you can't imagine NOT thinking them. However, thoughts have no significance in and of themselves. They only have power and importance when you grant it to them by giving them attention.

Although the idea of wanting to quit seems all-encompassing and like it couldn't possibly be ignored, it's simply something that entered your mind. You can choose not to validate it with your attention.

When you choose to ruminate on a thought, you're sending sending a message to your brain that the thought is something of importance and therefore should be recalled. your brain will simply do its job and bring it to your remembrance later. But each time you dismiss a thought, you're re-training your brain. You're telling it, This thought is not important. it's not worth going back to."

2. Distract

"How do you distract? One of the best ways is to turn your energy to whatever you're doing and completely focus your energy on what's happening in the moment. Think to yourself, i'm going to be present and enjoy what's happening right now. Focus completely on what you're experiencing in your senses. Don't compare it to what you expected or wanted, or critique the situation in any way. Experience the present moment just as it is. 

You can also distract yourself by changing activities."

3. Reject

"I know my own mental weaknesses, and when I notice a thought creeping on that plays on my sore spots and insecurities, I practice rejecting that thought and shutting it down immediately. The process is usually like a lecture from the healthy part of my mind to the part of me that wants to allow nonsense to gather in my head: Oh no, we are NOT going THERE again. That was a nasty and totally unproductive train of thought and I'm getting off right now. If you keep that up, you're going to be moping around and complaining all day, and I'm choosing to have a good time in the classroom. Nope, that's it, let's think about this next activity and what needs to be done to make it the best one possible.

The reject process basically consists of sitting myself down and giving myself a good talking-to.

Rather than allowing my internal dialogue to go unchecked, I'm choosing to confront it head on.

Rejecting a thought means blocking it and refusing to allow it into your mental space. Insidious negative thoughts have to be dealt with forcefully. Instead of trying not to think about them, confront them head on and mentally label them as counter-productive, weakening, and unwanted: This thinking does not help me become the best teacher I can be. It tears me down and makes me feel bad about my self. I refuse to indulge in those types of thoughts.

Tell yourself: Right now my mind is repeating the refrain that I'm hopeless and incompetent. That's a lie and I reject those thoughts. Even though I don't feel like it right now, I know that I have the ability to be successful and I will succeed. The incident that made me feel incompetent is actually just one thing that happened in my life and indicative of all my capabilities across all time. That's the truth I am choosing to set my mind on. 

Be firm with your mind. View your brain like a spoiled, out-of-control child who always wants his way and doesn't accept no for an answer. Your mind will demand that you think negative thoughts over and over, and you have to reject then over and over. Be consistent. If you give in occasionally, you're fostering more bad habits in the future. Draw a line in the sand and refuse to cross it. Your unfailing refusal to give in will eventually re-train your mind to think constructively. "

4. Replace

"Positive thoughts take root in your mind in the same way that negative ones do. Each time you think, I love teaching this unit; My kids did a great job with that activity; My coworkers were so helpful; or My principal really supported me on that issue; you've planted seeds that produce something strengthening in your mind and eventually in your life.  

Many times, replacing thoughts means simply noticing the good things as they happen. It means paying attention to the small wins, and focusing your mind on them. Even when many things are going wrong, you can train your mind to pay more attention to the things that are going right.

Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones can also involve examining the evidence: Is the negative thought really true or an overreaction? Choosing a positive outlook is far from being mindlessly cheerful despite all evidence to the contrary: usually the facts of reality do not support our negative thoughts. Much of our pessimistic thinking is based on assuming the worst, and predicting that whatever bad thing that's happening will impact us on a much larger scale and for a longer period of time than it actually will.

Replacing negative thoughts with more accurate and positive sentiments is the most powerful way to prevent unwanted thoughts from returning."

I couldn't pick just one verse to go with this. So I picked three.

You can find a printable version of this here. 

You can find a printable version of this here.

You can find a printable version of this here.

Scripture helps me to combat those pesky negative thoughts & get my perspective aligned with God's. 

Give up the ghost

There's a new song out called "Ghost" by Ella Henderson. 

The lyrics that really stood out to me were: 

"I keep going to the river to pray

Cause I need something that can wash out the pain
And at most
I'm sleeping all these demons away
But your ghost, the ghost of you
It keeps me awake

Each time that I think you go
I turn around and you're creeping in
And I let you under my skin
Cause I love living in the sin

Give up the ghost

Give up the ghost

Give us the ghost

Stop the haunting baby" 

I was listening to it the other day on the way to work. As I was listening... and singing like a crazy woman (anyone else do that?), it reminded men how we let things haunt us. I had a situation happen last year at work that bothers me to this day. Every time I think I'm over it, it pops back up in my mind. I think about it over and over again. And let those emotions just bubble up and over every time I think about it. In a sense, I am letting this situation continue to haunt me.

This song is about "someone or something that just has a hold over you, tormenting you, you're trying to run away from it, but you just can't. And I think a lot of people can relate in so many different ways." I love how God uses the everyday things, like a random song on the radio, to speak to us. It just goes to show how powerful and amazing He is! Anyways, I'm getting sidetracked here! Hearing this song made me realize that instead of letting this event that happened forever ago continue to haunt me, I should give this burden to the Lord and let him handle it. Just like in the song, I can't change any of the events that have already happened; all I can do is choose to give it up and move on. 

In Galatians 5:1 it says, "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." As Galatians says, Christ came to set us free! Instead of being burdened and haunted by things that have happened in the past, we can stand firm in our belief in Him and the fact that our sins have been taken care of when we accept him into our hearts. We don't have to worry about the comment that was made at dinner last week or the coworker that irritated us today. We can rely on Him to take care of those issues and live in that freedom, knowing that He's already taken care of everything! 

If you want to post this in your house or office, you can find it here.

Lyrics and quote from Songfacts.

DIY Bible Tabs

Here's the teaser picture I posted on my Instagram.

It also shows all the materials you'll need:

 1. washi tape or Scotch Expressions tape

2. tabs (I really wanted to find clear ones, but couldn't. I ended up being more than happy with it because you can see the colors on the back.) 

3. permanent markers or non-gel pens (so it doesn't wipe off)

4. scissors

5. Bible

Steps: 

1. I would put the tab on the table or my bible and line up the tape along the tab. 

2. Then just trim it with scissors. Pretty simple, but rather tedious if you're a perfectionist like me. 

3. The stick it on the page. I lined mine up as best I could so that they'd be in straight line. 

The first one! 

I also wrote the title on the back of the tab.

I found out that black Sharpie works best so that you can see it easier.

Working away... 

The front of the tabs.

The back of the tabs.

The final product!

Not Just for Teachers: Stress

Some of my coworkers and I are reading the book Awakened: Change Your Mindset to Transform Your Teaching by Angela Watson. It's written for teachers, but it could apply to every profession! The first chapter is about dealing with stress. We all have it in our lives. We all have to figure out how to deal with it. Here's what really stood out: 

"Stress starts in our minds, often without us even realizing it. We think stressed out thoughts and then we feel stressed out emotions, and out bodies bear the results. Our thoughts (opinions and ideas) about an event determine whether we react calmly or feel anxious and upset. If we view the things that are happening around us in a negative way, a stress reaction will automatically be triggered."

"One teacher might think, this situation is intolerable! It should not be happening! I can't handle this and shouldn't have to deal with it! These thoughts trigger feelings of extreme anger and anxiety, which when left unchecked, can lead to physical symptoms of stress.

Another teacher might think, This is unfortunate, but it's not going to ruin my day. I own't take this situation personally and will just handle it the best I can. These thoughts lead to a calmer emotional state and do not trigger a strong stress reaction in the body."

"Choosing to define stress as something that happens to you steals your power to handle it effectively. When you perceive a cause-effect relationship between life events and your emotional response (e.g. students talk back, therefore I get upset), you begin to believe you cannot do anything about the situation. After all, if you feel stress because of an outside event, then the outside event must change for you to feel better. If you can't change the outside event (like a child's behavior or a school policy), you feel hopeless, frustrated, and overwhelmed."

"The only factor that you have complete control over is your mindset: the way YOU think and perceive things, and that way YOU choose to respond. If you want to create meaningful and lasting change in your job satisfaction, the best place to start is with your one thoughts patterns and attitude." 

"Your mindset is ultimately the reason why you love teaching or despise it." (On my Kindle app it shows the most popular highlights, and this is one of them.)

"I didn't yet realize that my internal state could be completely independent of my external environment."

"Resolve that you're going to stop getting angry about trivial matters, you're going to let go of things you can't control, and you're going to embrace whatever the future holds without worry."

She doesn't quote any scripture, but I think that Matthew 11 really hits home:

If you want to hang this in your home or office, you can find a printable version here.

There are totally things that come into our lives that we cannot control. Instead of stressing, the Lord gives us the option of giving Him our stress and taking on his lead, which is gentle and easy.

When have you been stressed and you gave the burden to the Lord and He totally came through?

The Lord Provides

The other day I just had a heavy heart. I felt like it was so heavy I couldn't even function. I was snappy and overwhelemed. Hao made a comment that I could normally handle and I had to leave the room because I teared up. Of course he apologized. And what he said wasn't even a big deal at all. Even though I'd had a great day, I just couldn't handle it. I'd had enough.

I was still feeling the stress/heaviness the next day. When I got to work, though, I received so many hugs & positive words. It was just what I needed! It just amazes me when the Lord gives you what you need- even when you don't ask for it. He just knows our needs and loves us so much he gives us what we need without us even having to think twice.

He knew my heart was crying out to him, so he answered my cry just like he did when the Israelites were traveling in the desert. Even though they were whining and complaining, he still heard their cry and responded, giving them exactly what and how much they needed. No one went hungry.

This story is such a great reminder that He gives us exactly what need. Not more. Not less.

If you want to post this in your home or office, you can find a printable version here.

When has the Lord provided for you? Was there a time He gave even when you didn't ask?

I was super emotional the other day....

I'd had this crazy parent, I'd started a new bible study at church with a new group of women (who are super awesome and I am soooo excited about but I was really nervous), and work was just nuts (the whole Mercury in retrograde thing...  Not sure if it really has an effect but I had a really rough day on Wednesday). So here comes Thursday and I am just a mess. I chose to get some extra sleep instead of getting up to have some quiet time with the Lord (bad choice) and by the time I got to work, I was just a plum mess. Well, by the end of my first class, I knew I needed something to process all these emotions that I was feeling, but couldn't really stop and think about. So I did this: 

It really helped me quickly think through the emotions I was experiencing and deal with them. Putting how I felt on one side helped me get my feelings out (which I need to do; I tend to stuff them down) and then writing who I am despite these feelings helped me combat these negative feelings stirring around in my heart. I felt a zillion times better after I did this. Truly. I felt like a lot of the heaviness of my heart had been lifted because I knew that the things on the left side weren't true. Satan could not keep me down any longer!!

Just a few hours ago, I transferred these over to my prayer/notes journal and put some scriptures to help me remember who I am when I get all caught up in my emotions. 

It's obviously still a work in progress, might just be forever because I will always experience new emotions (Yay! *insert eye roll here*) and will find new scriptures to combat Satan's negative thoughts with. But now that I've got this little strategy in my pocket, I know I can process my emotions when I need to and combat those negative thoughts when I have them (which, honestly, is way too often!). 

inspiring wednesday, take 2 & community brew

how many times have i told God, no, i don't want to be like ______? i need to accept me for who God made me. he did it for a reason!! i have a hard time accepting who i am and believing in myself. i am constantly wanting other people's acceptance and approval. i can be a very insecure person. it is something i struggle with daily. but the Lord knows my needs and since i rely on him, he meets my needs and gives me exactly what i need to overcome it.

"the answer to deal with the insecurity, believing that everything God says about us is true." 

-so long insecurity by beth moore

{i'll be posting on this book in my first installment of the sunday book series this sunday!!} 

"for you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. i prasie you for i am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, i know that full well."

-psalm 139:13-14

i'm not saying that i am awesome and don't have anything to work on. i'm not saying i can go around be prideful. i'm just saying that i need to accept my strengths and weaknesses as i grow. satan will use my weaknesses and mistakes against me. i should let God use those for His glory instead of letting satan use them to bring me down. 

i need to remember to just be me. be the the me God created you to be. spend time with him. when i get to know him, i get to know me. i need to ask him who he wants me to be. and listen to what he says.

and now onto the link-up! 

it's halfway through the week and sometimes we just need a little pick-me-up. wether it be a cute outfit, a great recipe, a fun craft, or whatever you can think of to inspire your fellow blogger!

rules:
1. follow light on a hill via bloglovin
2. link up a post {not your homepage, please}
3. after you link up your post, please put the button on you post or link back here.
4. please take the time to comment on at least one other blog & encourage a fellow blogger!

<div align="center">
<a href="http://www.lightonahilllife.com" title="inspiring wednesday"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm_TampvAnLhSlaXeBezyNmItJqyInLMFG7bzHL22xS0DTljAZg51wqzqBqLLWAAvPR82KhGm34GqbGsDSWQ4DXl4_oCRkTpKYVnxZmC9NgufhSFvb0Ii_2-4PX0fQtLNiRQJrUc2lZcwm/s1600/IMG_0049_2.jpg" alt="inspiring wednesday" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

ps- today is the first day of school {so excited!}, so i will take a peak at your posts and respond to your comments soon!!

i'm also linking up with a blogger friend, madison, from wetherills say i do, for community brew
  {link-ups}

first inspiring wednesday link-up!! {and a cute romper}

romper: forever 21

shoes: aldo

necklace: dazzle up

annndddd now onto the first ever inspiring wednesday link up!! 

it's halfway through the week and sometimes we just need a little pick-me-up. wether it be a cute outfit, a great recipe, a fun craft, or whatever you can think of to inspire your fellow blogger!

rules:
1. follow light on a hill via bloglovin
2. link up a post {not your homepage, please}
3. after you link up your post, please put the button on you post or link back here.
4. please take the time to comment on at least one other blog & encourage a fellow blogger!

<div align="center">
<a href="http://www.lightonahilllife.com" title="inspiring wednesday"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm_TampvAnLhSlaXeBezyNmItJqyInLMFG7bzHL22xS0DTljAZg51wqzqBqLLWAAvPR82KhGm34GqbGsDSWQ4DXl4_oCRkTpKYVnxZmC9NgufhSFvb0Ii_2-4PX0fQtLNiRQJrUc2lZcwm/s1600/IMG_0049_2.jpg" alt="inspiring wednesday" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

choosing.

last week i was sitting outside pretending i was at the beach. just relaxing. happy as a clam. the sun was shining, the air was fresh- it just felt good outside. there was a nice breeze. we were washing clothes, so it even smelled really good outside, like freshly dried clothes.  i was reading an awesome book, allegiant {a post on that to come, soon!!}. so basically, i was a happy camper.

when all the sudden, there was this loud noise. and it would not stop. where did my peace and relaxation go? erg.

but just then, a light bulb went off in my head. i can either choose to let this really bother me and be crabby or i can choose to focus on the other 100 positive things that are going on around me or have happened that day/week. i've realized that we can have peace no matter where we are. we can choose to have peace and focus on God and good things he's given instead of focusing on the negative things surrounding us.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." Phillipians 4:8

happy sunday, y'all. i pray that today to choose to focus on God and the good things He has given you.

ps- wednesday is the first installment of inspiriting wednesday!!

it's halfway through the week and sometimes we just need a little pick-me-up. wether it be a cute outfit, a great recipe, a fun craft, or whatever you can think of to inspire your fellow blogger!

<div align="center">
<a href="http://www.lightonahilllife.com" title="inspiring wednesday"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm_TampvAnLhSlaXeBezyNmItJqyInLMFG7bzHL22xS0DTljAZg51wqzqBqLLWAAvPR82KhGm34GqbGsDSWQ4DXl4_oCRkTpKYVnxZmC9NgufhSFvb0Ii_2-4PX0fQtLNiRQJrUc2lZcwm/s1600/IMG_0049_2.jpg" alt="inspiring wednesday" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

quotetastic sunday, take 2

for this week, i chose two of my favorite movies to pick from {10 things i hate about you & the notebook}

first, one of my all-time favorites, 10 things i hate about you: 

katarina may not be the nicest person in the world, but she does make some good points.

and now for.... the notebook: 

this is my favorite! 

happy sunday, y'all. hope it's full rest, run, and family! 

{link-ups}

you were called to be brave

the other day i was watching this preview for some the new kate hudson &zach braff movie coming out soon, wish i was here. in it, zach braff says, "we've spent our entire lives wishing we could be something great. and now we're finally called upon to do something that requires some actual bravery." i'm not sure what they're being "called" by since it looks like it might be a rather out there movie in some ways, but hearing that statement answered the question i'd been asking the Lord over & over again, "why am i going through all this?" my answer: you were called to be brave.

the Lord put me through all this to teach me to have some courage. to put myself out there. to deal with conflict. to deal with my fear.
am i done being brave? absolutely not. i haven't even started. will i be rejected? absolutely. but, i've got a God who, as long as i rely on him, will take care of me and provide me with what i need.


in case you want to see it, here's the preview:

Quotetastic Sunday

so, i'm pretty sure that quotetastic isn't a word. and now that i've typed it out, it definitely isn't because there's a little red squiggly line under it! haha. it looks like i invented a new word today!

anyways, the point of all this is that i thought i'd share some of my favorite quotes from my pinterest page! i'm a bit of a pinterest addict, so there are over 800 pins on this one page; i won't share them all today ;) if you're bored or need some inspiration, feel free to check out my board.